Yesterday was a big day. I headed into the city (San Francisco…to be exact) to audition for a national commercial for a major automotive brand.
Needless to say, I was psyched.
I’ve been auditioning for so many years that I rarely get nervous and I’m well aware of all the little tips n’ tricks to audition with confidence. I walked into the waiting room, signed in, and waited patiently for my turn. Finally, after what seemed like hours (but was really only about 3 minutes) I was called into the room.
And…that’s where everything went horribly, horribly wrong. In fact, it may have been one of my most embarrassing auditions of all time. Eek.
But, as embarrassing as this situation was, I didn’t pout, or scream, or get teary once I got back in the car.
Why?
Because I knew that it was an opportunity to learn. An opportunity to grow. An opportunity to {hopefully} never make those mistakes again.
If you’ve been in the same boat (and I’m betting you have), here are my surefire ways to feel boisterous when you botch something, rather than hanging your head in shame.
Trash the Coulda, Shoulda, Woulda
One of the things actors are taught is to just let.it.go the minute you leave an audition.
This is particularly relevant to any mistake-laden situation. You can spend hours mentally back-peddling while spooning a pint of cookie dough ice cream – thinking through all of things that could have gone differently if you just did {this} or did {that}.
Or, you can say “Yeah…I totally screwed that one up” and giggle about your mistake.
Hey, you’re only human.
Admit It – Even if you Just Mumble it to Yourself
Even if you’re totally aware of your slip-up, you may catch yourself trying to reason what happened.
For example, in my audition I missed a very key, very obvious thing and – in my head – tried to blame everyone and everything else for what was clearly my own mistake. It took me a few hours before I could admit to myself (and now to you) that it was my own fault.
After awareness and acceptance kicks in, make a mental list of what went wrong. You can also journal, blog, call your best friend, corner your spouse, or admit it in any other way you like.
Realize that your mistakes are not flaws, imperfections, or any other harsh term. They are opportunities to learn and to grow.
Make Room for Improvement
Once you’ve identified your mistake (or – mistakes – in my circumstance), choose ONE way you plan to learn and grow.
For me, after I made the first mistake – it led to a series of other botched attempts. This is because I was so caught up in my head thinking about that first mistake that I couldn’t be present in my audition and focus on doing the job at hand.
So, I’m choosing to take an acting workshop next month that focuses on staying in the moment and ridding self-sabotaging behavior. I was on the fence about taking this workshop, but I’m taking my screw-up as a sign that it’s a priority…and an opportunity to thrive.
TAKE ACTION: If you’re feeling brave, post a recent mistake below and how it helped you grow. Let’s inspire one another to flourish from our foibles!
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{ 7 comments… read them below or add one }
I made a big typo on an email for a client. I do tons and tons of blog posts, emails, and social media for them but that ONE mistake stood out to my client’s wife. Oops.
Gosh, so many mistakes – how do I choose just one?! As you said “hey you’re only human”, and I use mistakes to prove just that. It’s easy for customers to see you as a company but when you flaunt/own up to your mistakes they’ll see you as a person which helps to engage them.
I paid a ‘boatload’ of money to secure a retail spot at a ‘pop-up’ Holiday Shop in a very posh mall/luxury center! I borrowed close to 1K to be able to do it (even though I have a strict policy against borrowing $$)! The 20 day event was the worst venue I have ever conducted my business during and I lost SO much money! Afterwards, I wanted to beat myself up about having taken such a risk but instead I’ve chosen to ‘let it go’. I will be spending the next several months playing ‘catch up’ financially and this blunder may even cost me a lost opportunity to attend our first trade show in Vegas! Oh well, I’ve signed up for Melissa Cassera’s ‘boot camp’ to make my business IRRESISTABLE so I’m choosing to focus on the future, not the past!
I’m a copywriter, but I type SO fast when contributing to Facebook groups or responding to emails that I often make typos which I glaringly obvious to me within seconds, but by then the damage is done — I’ve hit “enter” or pressed “send.” I think sometimes my brain works faster than my fingers.
You’re right, though — there’s no need to beat ourselves up about it. Sh*t happens. Pull yourself together and keep going, right?
XO
SEE! SEE! I made one — I should’ve added “submitting comments to other people’s blog posts.”
*sigh
I’m in the training business, and love my work. But a few months ago I had a three-day session that was less than stellar. In fact it was three days of me not giving the group what they were looking for. I’m not sure if they knew themselves what they wanted but they clearly weren’t getting what they came for. While I still beat myself up a bit over that fiasco, I have learned from it as well. I will ask more probing questions when I talk to those who are bringing me in to work with a group. I will find some way to connect with the group members themselves before the training, and I will continue to add to my skills so I am prepared for all eventualities in the classroom.
Like many women entrepreneurs and artists, I have a perfectionist complex. I can even relate to the audtion debacle because I did the actress circuit too and those awful scenarios played in my head for weeks after every audition. I can’t imagine what opportunities I missed because of my bad habit of beating myself up for my “mistakes.” Well, suprise! I am not perfect. I need to let.it.go. the minute after and see what I have to learn from it. That is brilliant. On a business call yesterday, I went into “convince” mode talking to a client who was probably just not the right client for me. I wasted energy trying to be charming and show her why she should pick me. So I learned that things work best when I stay authentic and just really try listening to the person and seeing if my service can benefit them. And ditch the after-call replays! Thanks, Melissa, for being such a great example of staying authentic!